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The Winding Road that is My Life
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August 18 Nothing much new...Well, life has been good, but I'm still really frustrated with my weight. I've been working out more, and volleyball has started, but I just don't know what to do to kick my butt in gear to really lose the weight that I need to. I've been trying to change my eating habits, but it's been hard. I just feel like losing the weight is MUCH harder than putting it on! (obviously, I guess!) So, I'm at the same weight - trying to work out regularly and trying not to eat out as much! Just trying!! I've also had the opportunity to think about some blind date options, and I'm really struggling with what I think about that - we'll see! Well, talk to you soon! June 16 Finally, an Update...Well, life is good!! Got back from Trinidad & that was fantastic! I really struggled knowing what I looked like before going and reuniting with friends who haven't seen me in 14 years! But when we got there, I just sucked up my pride and did all the things that I was afraid of - swimming in the ocean, swimming in the pool, getting dressed up for the wedding, etc. There were some humiliating moments - just knowing that people were staring at the beach because we looked different from most people on the beach, etc. Also, there were some girls on the trip (relatives of the bride), who were very into their looks and having a "good time" - which was frustrating because I felt like I obsessed about that a little more than I would have otherwise. However, I noticed a complete change in who I was on this trip compared to who I was coming to Trinidad as a teenager! I was more confident, sure of myself, and not worried about looking stupid. I made conscious choices to disregard any uncomfortable feelings I had & just tried to enjoy the trip and the people I had missed seeing so much!! It was really good!
Anyway, I'm still on my "journey" towards physical health - trying to work out more regularly & plan my meals more. I'm at basically the same weight as when I started this, but I feel like I'm making progress, nontheless! Anyway, just a little update - I'll write more later.  April 15 Keep on keeping on...Well, here I go again! Sending out our progress on our weight loss journey! I'm down 6 pounds total now!  John has also lost about 3-4 pounds. So, YAY for us!! The bummer is, both of us would like to be a lot further along in our journey by now. It's like we start with so many good intentions, and then we just give up when it gets too hard or when we get too busy. John is pretty for sure going to have gastric bypass surgery, so he's getting revved up for that! But before the surgery, he still has to lose about 25 pounds, so he and I are still really trying to motivate each other! I'm really wanting to lose at least 30 pounds before we leave to go to Trinidad (which I know is very ambitious, but it's a goal!). Well, I'll sign off for now, but know that we're going to keep on persevering and striving towards our goal. Even the baby steps are steps!!  Have a blessed day!March 31 Spring is in the Air!Well, hello again! The trees are starting to bud, the snow is melting, the ground is softening - spring is on it's way
 !! I'm so excited because I want to be able to go outside and start walking more, throw the baseball around and play with my nephew. I'm hoping that this spring will be a time of growth for me, too! I have a trip to Washington D.C. that I'm preparing for, so I need to start walking more every day, and I have a trip to Trinidad with my family coming up that I'd like to lose weight for. These are some powerful motivators for me, and I'm really wanting to change!! I've lost 3 pounds total, and I really need to step up my goals and actually meet them. I'm thinking of starting a food journal to actually make myself accountable for the food choices I make, and I'd like to do a body cleanse soon to flush out toxins, eliminate sugar cravings (at least for the 10 days I'm on it), and get a jump start on some weight loss. John is doing well with most of his goals! He is still avoiding fast food, but is struggling with getting enough exercise and fruits/veggies. He has started coaching his indoor soccer league
 , so that's keeping him busy right now, too.John and I have a hard time finding the time to exercise and do really tough things physically. I think that our avoidance stems from a fear of discomfort (instilled by overprotective parents), and also a lack of taking time for ourselves and our own health. I think that this sometimes comes from a performance mentality, where we have to prove ourselves in our jobs or with our accomplishments, so we spend so much time doing those things, that we have no energy left to work hard on ourselves!! Oh, man, it's time to really deal with this and it's going to be hard! Well, wish us luck!
 March 24 Long time no write...Well, it's been awhile since I last wrote! Some intense last few weeks - John's been struggling with staying the same weight even though he's been doing AWESOME on his goals! In fact, he hasn't had fast food for 3 whole months!! That's incredible! Right now, he's seriously considering gastric bypass surgery, so he's looking into it and taking classes and trying to think through it all. He's just looking at an option that will get him to the point that he can take over and complete his return to health. He just feels that right now he can't make a dent and he needs something to help him get to the point where he has more energy to finish the process.
I've been fluctuating a lot lately. At my highest, I was up 4 pounds over my starting weight and at my lowest I was seven pounds under my starting weight. The hilarious thing is that I lost 11 pounds in one week while baby-sitting 3 kids for a family I know. This being a "mom thing" is HARD WORK!!
 Seriously, though, that week kept me so busy that I wasn't just sitting at home eating snacks, etc. Right now I'm down 5 pounds from my starting weight.John and I have a trip to Trinidad coming up - with our family (for the wedding of one of our friends), so we're trying to lose some weight for the trip & just to be in shape and looking good for it. We'll be meeting a lot of people that we haven't seen since I was about 15 and we both look a lot different now than we did then (unfortunately). So, I'm hoping that this trip is a motivating factor for us! We've been doing really well motivating each other and trying to help one another out because we both realize that we're in this for the long haul and that as brother and sister, we're going to be a part of each other's lives for the rest of our lives, so we should start being more positive and investing in each other even more! Well, we continue on in our journey towards health ! John's and my goals are to exercise MORE, to eat less and more healthfully, and to continue to encourage each other. Have a great week!
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